Living With…

My masseuse does tend to like to discuss things when I go for a reflexology session. She draws out the feelings during the treatment and then likes to reason with me on them afterwards.

She kept using the word ‘narcissist’ in relation to my immediate family. * I know my family can at times be narcissistic; but she was wrong in saying that I was a victim of that.

Narcissists produce more narcissists. I’m in no way suggesting that I’m a one myself; but I’m not completely innocent in not being one.

I think I became so used to everything being about everyone else in my family when I lived there; that now I’m alone I’m falling into the habit of becoming self-absorbed.

Before I had others to care for and to watch out for. I used to have to protect my brother from others; and my mother from herself. I never really had time to protect or care for myself; and no one else protected or cared for me.

So now that I’m alone, I know I’m in danger of becoming selfish and self-absorbed; and I hate that. I hate how I feel I’m becoming. Everything is ‘me, me, me’; and I don’t know how to stop it.

*my masseuse is a family friend so she knows my family and so has every right in expressing her personal observation

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