Uncomfortable Thoughts and Feelings…

I hate days and nights like these ones. It’s not cold but I’m shivering. It’s not hot but I’m burning up. It’s not raining but my eyes are wet. It’s not noisy but my ears are ringing.

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The Power Of The Mind.

I’ve had a challenging weekend. I finally felt the need to try to articulate what goes on in my mind when I overthink things.

I never really need any prompting for my mind to spiral into an abyss of overthinking. It’s so engrained into my synapses that it’s my go to reaction to every action.

What’s never happened before, not that I’ve been consciously aware of anyways, is somebody knowing about this flaw of mine and choosing to use it against me. That’s quite a betrayal of trust and so deeply manipulative.

I was coaxed into almost doubting someone whom I trust so deeply. Someone who knows everything there is to know about me. I tell him everything. And it was almost ruined because I let someone get into my head.

Never Been So Furious.

Burn every book. Tear down every library. Break every pen. Cut out every tongue.

To censor is to remove our freedom of speech. To criticise where it is not our place is to stifle creativity. To open ones mouth against another’s feelings is to ravage confidence.

Whether you agree or not, art is art, and to speak out against a work of art is to speak out against the artist.

You’ll find me defending every single one of my fellow poets from here and overseas even if it means my reputation and my abandonment; because the beauty of poetry is of more importance to me than all of that.

Edit. Edit. Edit.

I posted a poem over a year ago with the same title and theme… and as I read back over it I decided I was really unhappy with the final edit. So I pulled it apart and started from scratch holding onto only the bare bones of the original.

I’m so much happier with this one.

Literally in love with it. It’s very much in the style that I used to write, and still do write to some extent I guess.

Last night was hell for me, and I just needed a creative outlet.

I’m struggling with the fact some people in my life are actually really suffocating me at the moment. They’re being clingy and depressing. It’s got me feeling trapped and claustrophobic. I’m an independent person and so at work I like being left to do what I need to do. Following me around like a lost puppy freaks me out. It has got my overthinking working in overdrive, and has meant I’m ruining my relationships with people I actually care about.

2018 Has Started Well.

I asked M to give me a topic to write on so I could start my new year in a creativity positive way.

I’m personally not so sure I’m really keen on how it came out but I guess that’s the beauty of being given a broad topic – to a certain extent you’ve just got to allow your emotions and your mind to roam free and explore.

I Cannot Take Credit.

For this poem I cannot take any form of credit.

I found this blog post online a while ago that spoke of how profound and creatively different poetry can be written by forcing the poet to write at an unsuspecting time on a broad and undefined topic.

I thought I would try this on M. Plus, let’s be totally honest I also do like seeing how far I can push it with him. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t actually put up much of a fight and just went with my request that he wrote me a poem about the sea.

He wasn’t happy with what he’d written, but sent it to me despite that. He felt that it was not amazing but, and I made sure to tell him this, the potential it held and the feelings that were being conveyed were beautifully obvious! So I asked if I could tweak it a little bit, and play around with the structure; he agreed and so I did.

Initially I wasn’t going to sign it off with a signature. It felt wrong to use mine but I also knew I couldn’t just use M’s because I had really restructured the original and used my own poetic style in writing this. It didn’t look right without being signed off however, so I decided to just use both of ours.